


Five Times Richard Hates His Height and One Time He Didn't

by velvetcat09



Category: Top Gear (UK) RPF
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Random - Freeform, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-25
Updated: 2013-01-25
Packaged: 2017-11-26 20:13:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/653995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/velvetcat09/pseuds/velvetcat09
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He hates his height sometimes, but sometimes he don't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Times Richard Hates His Height and One Time He Didn't

First  
  
"Fuck.. this fucking.. fuck.." Richard grunts, of all place; why must the paint be on the highest shelf he had ever encounter with. And where the fuck is James and Jeremy. This is ridiculous and the cameraman is still rolling his camera. _Oh, bugger all._  
  
Ten minutes and Richard still can't reach the paint. The thing is, there was no chair or ladder in the workshop; which really is odd. And there's no sign that the cameraman would help him. He was sweating pretty bad; look at the bright side, he doesn't have to wee because it's excreting from his skin. Gross, but who cares.  
  
"Fuck you.. all.." There's no other explanation than Jeremy and James did this to him. They fucking hid anything that could help Hammond to reach the paint and put that bloody thing on the top shelf. Yes, there's no other explanation.   
  
Furious, Richard knocked the shelf; it didn't move, even a millimeter. He slumped next to the shelf. Exhausted not only phisically, but mentally. God knows how he hates his height.

  
  
Second  
  
"Sorry sir, you can't ride it."   
  
"What?!" Behind Hammond, Clarkson and May laugh uncontrollably. Richard's face went red; not only from embarrassment, but also from rage. For fuck's sake, he's forty-three years old and he can't fucking ride this roller coaster.  
  
"I'm afraid the minimum height requirement is five foot eight."   
  
"I'm five foot seven! Let me in!" Jeremy was losing his shit behind Richard with May covering his face.   
  
"I'm sorry, sir; you can't ride this."   
  
" _I'm on television for fuck's sake!_ " Richard stomped his feet. He's been waiting so long for this ride and he can't fucking ride it. Those two monkeys were losing their shit and that's just annoying.   
  
"Sorry, Hamster; can't help you in that department there." Jeremy was nowhere near stop laughing, James took the place to offer a comment. Richard was angry; not only to those monkeys, but for being small. Jeremy stopped laughing when Richard kicked his balls.

  
  
Third  
  
"For God's sake, Clarkson. Can you just not put your arms on my head?" It wasn't entirely because of his height, but apparently; standing one step lower than Jeremy on stairs gives that old man a perfect arm-rest.   
  
"Well, it's comfy."  
  
"But it's my head!" Beside the two, James can't help but chuckles.   
  
"Stop bickering, you look like an old married couple." James commented, getting two glares from his friends.  
  
"Imagine trying to kiss Hammond, God--I would break my neck." Jeremy uses his other hand to rub the back of his neck, ignoring a very annoyed-looking Richard.   
  
"Neither of us will make it if we're about to kiss Hammond."  
  
"I'm not that short!"  
  
"Yes you are." Jeremy and James replied oddly at the same time.   
  
"God I hate you two."

  
  
Forth  
  
"I'm not going in there."  
  
"Well, neither will we, and you're a hamster; so.."  
  
"Fuck off, Jeremy."  
  
"That's your habitat, isn't it?"  
  
"For real, Clarkson. Fuck. Off."  
  
"Alright there, Hamster."  
  
"There's no way we can get that thing out unless you get in there."   
  
"But that's the sewer!"  
  
"Me and Jeremy are too tall to get inside, only you can."  
  
"For fuck's sake.." Richard groaned before jumping into the hole. He hates his height and his friends. But definitely his friends.

  
  
Fifth  
  
"God, look a this coat.." Richard sighed, looking down at the coat he wanted so much but apparently; there's no size smaller than the one he's holding and it's quite bigger than his figure. James was standing beside his friend, hands in his pockets.   
  
"I could buy it and if you want to wear it, you can come and borrow it." Offered James.   
  
"But then it would look better on you and I'll hate it forever."   
  
"What about me?"  
  
"Shut up, Jeremy." The old man gives an unamused look. With a sad face, Richard put the coat back to its hanger; giving it a last glance before walking away from it. It was a really good looking coat, it has everything he'd ever wanted for a coat. But sadly, desperately sadly; not only it's the last coat, it's bigger than Richard's small figure.   
  
"Well, we'll look for another coat in the pet shop."  
  
"Fuck off, Clarkson." James just sneered behind them.

  
  
Sixth  
  
Richard woke at around three in the morning, everything was still dark. He glanced to his right; James was sleeping, soft snore coming from him. On his left was Jeremy with his loud snore. Somehow it calms him. It was peacefully quiet for him, Richard smiled.   
  
He gazed over the ceiling. It wasn't a cheap hotel, nor a fancy one; decent. They've only booked one room, they were alright with it anyway. Richard sleeps in the middle, between the two monkeys. It was about a minute later that he realises, James'hand was on his waist. The smaller man smiled wider. Not long later, Jeremy stirred; hand rolling to his chest. This is funnily adorable.   
  
Richard let out a happy sigh, it's perfect. His size with their sizes. It's just perfect, they fit together.

This is one of those times when Richard likes his height, like his small figure. There's still a few hours more, Richard went back to sleep.


End file.
